BAHS Alumni – Time for the Next Generation!

Old people tend to… well, get forgetful, slow, and sometimes a little eccentric – the Author included. If we wait much longer, our next alumni gatherings might be held in a nursing home—complete with bingo nights instead of beer and discussions about the best walker models.

To prevent that, we need YOU – the younger alumni! It’s time for fresh minds to take over before we start typing in ALL CAPS on Facebook and forgetting our own jokes.

So, who’s feeling young, energetic, and ready to lead the alumni group into the future? Step up—before we all forget why we’re here!

The Eternal Reign of the BAHSAA – A Leadership That Just Won’t Quit

Once upon a time, back in 2017, the noble leaders of the Bonn American High School Alumni Association (BAHSAA) made a grand proclamation: „This is it! No more reunions under our watch!“ The crowd gasped. Was it truly the end of an era?

Fast forward to 2024, and once again, the so-called BAHSAA solemnly confirmed that this would be the last reunion under their leadership. A dramatic farewell, one might think. A final bow. A gracious step aside to make way for the next generation.

But wait! What’s this? Just when we thought we had seen the last of our beloved self-appointed monarchs, they cling to their thrones as if the alumni world would crumble without them. Despite never having been properly elected (minor detail!), they hold on, gripping their titles with the tenacity of a soap opera villain refusing to die.

A Modest Proposal for a Slightly Younger Alumni Committee
(Yes, this is satire. Unless it isn’t.)

In a completely unofficial and highly questionable poll conducted during a spontaneous hallway chat at the last reunion (written down on the back of a 1987 cafeteria menu), we discovered that 84% of our classmates believe the Alumni Committee would benefit from a youthful boost – preferably someone who knows what TikTok is and doesn’t think “cloud storage” involves weather.

Suggestions included:
– Replacing Robert’s fax machine with a Discord server
– Introducing “Alumni Speed-Dating” at reunions (networking only!)
– Adding a Heinkel Scooter Drag Race (helmets required)
– And nominating someone under 60 as “Junior Liaison”

The proposal is, of course, made with great respect for the wisdom and experience of our current committee, who once bravely transitioned from mimeographs to Microsoft Office.

We salute you – and humbly suggest you consider bringing a grandchild to the next meeting.

It’s truly fascinating how a group that once declared themselves done is now suddenly irreplaceable. The alumni community, they seem to believe, simply cannot function without their guiding hands. Democracy? Who needs it! Elections? Overrated! Clearly, leadership by divine right is far more efficient.

Now, here’s a radical thought: Perhaps, just perhaps, it’s time for a little fresh air. A new generation, free from the glorious baggage of the past, might just be capable of organizing an event or two. Shocking, I know. Imagine a BAHS reunion led by fresh, untainted minds, unburdened by the weight of self-importance and nostalgia-fueled entitlement. The possibilities are endless!

The alumni community deserves open, inclusive leadership—not a lifetime appointment for the chosen few. So, dear BAHSAA, if you’re reading this, take a deep breath, let go of that imaginary crown, and embrace what you once promised: the end of an era. We’ll manage, really.

And if not—well, at least let us know when the next coronation ceremony is scheduled. We wouldn’t want to miss the fireworks.

Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece, meant to provoke a smile, a thought, or both. No offense intended. Seriously.

Jürgen